Call Me Maybe

There is so much out there right now telling us what a relationsihp should look like... and today I had a friend ask me about what a good relationship really should be. Well... I wasn't planning on writing as much as I did. But in the end I thought I would share my thoughts.

Oh and please keep in mind... this is in my internet chat speak, and I didn't really take the time to clean it up much so... Here Goes!

So... To the Curious Single Person Who Wants to Know What I Have to Say:

And I Quote:

well.... i am not sure if you mean what makes it a "godly relationship" or i fyou mean what makes it a "god ordained relatinoship", because those are two different things

the second suggests that god planned 2 people specifically for each other and orchestrated their lives in such a way that they were brought together by what might appear to be fate

the first, which is what i am assuming you might have meant, simply requests what takes a relationship to the next level, beyond the friendship/lover characteristics

and in this case, the answer is simple, God, being the center of both lives, becomes the center of that relationship

Now granted this obviously needs to be explained, because the center of a relationship? what does that even mean

ok, so there are two analogies, (and i apologize if im breaking this down too much, im not trying to insult your intelligence, i just felt the need to start with the basics) the first analogy is two people standing on opposite sides of a circle, and they are both looking in

this is to take the center of the relationship more literally, to see or get to the other person, they must look "through" God, they must first find God before they can find each other

the second analogy is similar, consider a 3 cord braided rope

the first cord being man, the second being woman, and the third being God, he is intricately involved with each, never leaves either's side, and is also constantly holding the other two together, two cords twisted together simply unwind, but the third cord creates a bond that cannot be easily broken

ok, so now set the analogies aside, we get the conepts, but what does thsi look like day to day? there can be so many examples

but here is a list of some of my first thoughts

I. Praying together
II. Encouraging each other
III. Supporting each other
IV. Providing for each other

V. Acting out of grace and forgiveness instead of hurt

VI. Sharing with each other what God has revealed to each
VII. Trust
VIII. Respect

Some of these things don't sound super spiritual, and honestly the list could go on and on, but that's the point, if we act out of love, the kind of unconditional love that was first offered to us by Christ, then we are emulating Christ in our relationship.

It doesn't always mean carrying your bible together and "oops" we forgot to pray for the meal!" it means, live in love as God has loved

When we act out of greed, pain, pride, arrogance, selfishness, judgements, or anyother sinful cause, then we act against God, and against our spouse who has become a part of us

I will say that a little differently

When we sin against God, we commit a travesty against our selves, and now since two have become one, even if our spouse does not know our sin, we have still sinned against them

A godly relationship, forgives, repents, and moves forward, accepts consequences, and simply loves unconditionally

End Quote

And a few things on the practical side:

Start 2nd Quote:

well i think what i sent before what the important stuff

after that everything is secondary

but it helps to have like mindedness in how you interpret and live the bible

to enjoy some of the same hobbies

but give each other room to be yourself

you dont have to do everything together

you dont have to like everything the same

you do not have to wear matching shirts... if you get my drift :-D

but... your priorities should be discussed, and agreed upon

make each other laugh

offer a hug when you know words arent going to be enough

play a game just to spend time together

go for a walk

have friends and family over

dont be afraid of the deeper issues

sooner or later, if you dont master them, they will consume you

dont be desparate, for a new relationship, it is better to give each other an honest chance

and an honest chance does not mean assuming the other person is the one, it means taking the time to find out who they are

where do they come from

how did they become this person

where are they going?

what makes them passionate and what are their dreams

how do they handle money?

how do they handle kids?

how do they handle it when you get into a fight?

do they take the time to tell you something sweet just because they knwo it will make you smile?

are they willing to sacrifice? are they willing to comprimise?

i mean, this is a list that goes forever

honesty is so important

it takes a long time to fall in lvoe with someone

and when that happends

you spend the rest of your life discovering everything else you didnt already know

everythign that amazes you, surprises you, and even hurts you

we make alot of assumptions about people

especially when we think they are what we want

then we suddenly assume they have it all

thats not fair

relationships take tine

they take effort

they take endurance and patience

you have to be consistent

dont waffle

in love one day and out the next

your love is not based on today

it is based on forever

so... i guess htats it

now whree is my knight on a white horse?

End Quote

Ok, That's all folks.. just wanted to share :-D

Glimpse

Life can be tough.
For me one the hardest things to do is to make a "big" life decision.
So I am taking some serious consideration right now
and trying to remind myself of some basic things.

Things such as...

My human frailty is a weakness that I battle...
But it does not have the victory.
I don't have to have the answers.
I do no fight this battle alone.
God hears and answers my prayers.
He is in control.

Psalms 54:4 (NIV) -
"Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me."

The Lord sustains me...
Remember to pray continuously, and find rest in God alone.

--------------------

Sometimes it seems like this process is just simply taking too long,
and I wonder if I am the one holding it up or if God truly wants me to wait.
Is it my fault that I haven't made a decision yet?
Or is it because God has placed on my heart hesitations so that all things happen in his timing?
Should I be excited about what is coming next,
or should I worry that I have already let it pass me by?

These thoughts peg at my mind, and while some consideration is healthy... where's the limit? When do I let it all go and drop in God's lap to deal with it all?
Should I not cast my cares upon him?
And am I not one for whom He cares deeply?
How do I grasp His love deeply enough that I might have faith great enough?

In the grand scheme of things, I suppose that even a so-called "wrong" decision,
when made can be used and turned for good, even perfection.
For God is a master of making the imperfect to become perfect.
In that case... should I deliberate until I am old?

...Or do I leap?

The truth is that heights have always frightened me.
Oh it's true, I have leaped before with reckless abandonment.
Height combined with uncertainty though, is a terrible combination.
To let that fear determine my actions would be a sin,
for I have been made more than a conqueror in Christ.

Which decision leaves me with a greater regret?
Do both options lead to regret? And how can that be?
Which decision leads me to a closer relationship with God?

How can He say that He sees worth like the
sparkle of a perfectly cut diamond when He looks at me?
Who am I... that the Lord of all the Earth and Heavens above,
should take note of my small self and come down to live this life with me?

You might be thinking at this point that I should stop asking questions,
and get it over with already.
Say what I have to say.
Where is the advice?
But I have already done that.
As I think through these questions...
It's a start.
Because I didn't write this down to tell either of us what to do...
Although to be honest, I was hoping for some kind of revelation.
No, I think that in the questions,
I can find a way to search myself,
and offer whatever I find to the One who already knows,
and loves every bit of me.

Mediocrity? I don't think so.

Today I finally finished with my video audition for Belmont University. The irony is that yesterday I received a letter from them that said I would not be accepted for the fall term. Now I realize that my immediate reaction and following actions may not be typical, and may not be completely reasonable. But to me, the choice I made was the only thing to do.

What was my reaction? Well, first I determined that I would follow through with the recording of my audition regardless of this letter. I have spent two full weeks pouring myself into this effort, and I am not about to let it be a waste. Sadly, my allergies have been quite violent so it wasn't quite as awesome as I had hoped, but it did turn out pretty good. (Props to Kris Walker for being on the spot for me, I super appreciate it!) Second, I now must contact an authority at Belmont and persuade them that the letter I got, is not the letter I am going to keep. Basically, I need to beg for mercy, and present myself in a manner that will somehow convince them to overturn the original verdict. Pray for me... Thanks! :)

When I said I spent 2 weeks on this project, I was not kidding. I literally worked all of about 2 days during this time, and spent the rest of the time on studying, so as I am returning this week, I have a lot ahead of me! Alot to catch up on, and alot to plan for. If you didn't know it, this year in September will be the 5 YEAR ANNIVERSARY for SERVANT'S HEART!!! So... I am helping to plan a huge anniversary party! yay! It is supposed to be on August 7. We'll have free food, live music, games, kids activities, discount tables, bounce houses, a petting zoo, and whatever else we can come up with between now and then. So plan on coming because it's gonna be a blast!

Other than all of that, I think I am slowly developing a vision for purpose. This has been one of my most difficult battles. With as much as I plan for, I am desperate for God to give me something more specific to dream and to be passionate about. When you think of me, pray that God ignites passion that burns to my core and requires me to give my all for a purpose. I crave intimacy with God, and I desire to honor Him with my life, and to reach out to people.

What about the opportunities that we are given right where we are? I'm praying I learn to live life to the fullest here, and now. That I don't hold back. I don't want to be someone who is always "waiting". And I don't want to live in mediocrity.

How about you? Are you settling? Do not be satisfied with mediocrity. Be your best and give God your all. It's going to be worth it!

I Just Wanted to Blog I Guess

So... Sometimes I really want to blog.
But I'm not sure what to say.
And sometimes I know exactly what I want to say.
But then I realize I don't want you reading that! (Oh my...)
So... Sometimes I really want to blog, but I don't.

Don't get me wrong... It's not that I don't want to share my thoughts.
It's more like... I don't want to scare you away :-P.
In fact, sometimes I have to wonder if it's too late for that anyways!

I suppose not... or you wouldn't be reading now... So here goes!

-----

Now I know blogging was supposed to be a huge "fad" to hit the ceiling...
but really I think people just wanted a point of connection.
Face to face confession and confrontation makes us nervous.
If you show someone who you really are then you are giving them a chance to reject you.
On the other hand... an online confession means you don't have to watch their reaction.
Now isn't that the chickens way out!
Now let me back up a second... I am not dishing on blogging, or facebook, or IM.
Actually... I love all of these. It's very cool to be able to see little blurbs of peoples' lives.
But sometimes (and I'm sure you done this too) I need a friend...
and instead of a phone call I just start typing away to save the day...
(Otherwise known as "to beat the band")

BTW... why do we "beat the band"?
My cousins were in the band and I gotta say I know this "sport" beat you up enough
without everyone else joining in on a beat the band member marathon.
Ok... side note over.

If you know me well enough... Then you know I enjoy saying things like...
"Note to Self" and "Side Note" or maybe you've heard this one: Maning Raviac!
(OK I'll be honest, that was a recent one time hysterical mistake... but I liked it! haha)
Mostly I like quarky little things that make people laugh.
Truthfully, I really love to see people laugh.
Not the fake guffaw that says "This is so awkward cuz you're so not funny"
Or the forced chuckle saying "I wish I weren't here right now ucz you're so boring"
No... I love the laugh that makes people glow and bubble with amazing awesomeness!
Because that is what our God is - Amazing Awesomeness!
And all of that amazing awesomeness was put into you and me,
we were made to bring Him glory, and I think our laughter brings Him joy too.

So back to blogging... Who ever thought of the word "blog" anyways?
It sounds so... boggy. I dunno. It works... obviously, since we all now know what a blog is.
So congrats to the genious who thought it up... and I suppose thank you...
Because like I said... I like blogging.

I think it's because I enjoy sharing my thoughts.

Fact 1: I enjoy sharing my opinion.
Fact 2: I enjoy teaching.
Fact 3: I enjoy learning.
Fact 4: I enjoy conversation.
Fact 5: I enjoy writing.
Fact 6: I enjoy reading.
Fact 7: I enjoy You.

There- 7 is the perfect number and those are 7 perfect reasons to blog :)
(Cheesy, I know.)

Alright well... if you made it this far through my blog then you deserve a reward.
So this is tonight's goody...
I wrote a very small poem/verse...
And honestly, I debated on sharing it but here ya go...
There's no title, but I think it speaks for itself fairly well.

-----

"I hold my lips shut tightly
So I don't say what's on my mind
Cuz I can't take the risk and tell you
I don't want to be left behind
It's too easy to lose what you've got
Even though I don't have you
I'm not about to let go
And in spite of all this craziness
I still want you to Know
But I hold my lips shut tightly" - (C) 2009 LMF

Title: "Draw a Line" (This is all about Holiness)

Sometimes you have to draw a line...

Even though no one else will.

Sometimes you have to take a hit,

Back out of the scene, and disappear for a while...

Just so the line can hold integrity.

There are times when it hurts to be who you are...

But you know God calls you to be more than that,

And so you take another step.

There are times that you wish you could...

Even though you know it would be wrong.

Who are you trying to be?

What are you trying to prove?

How are you going to grow?

Can you stand here and claim salvation,

When you're drowning in this world?

The gospel is the remedy,

And the Word of God is your soulfood.

Hunger and thirst for Him alone.

So when your heart is troubled by guilt...

How fast can you step out of it and back into God?

Sometimes it isn't easy,

And the fight feels a little too tough...

But it's worth it all in the end, if you endure.

The road gets a little lonely,

But God is there and He lights the way.

It's easy to see when you've stepped off the path,

Because that's when the darkness overtakes.

What are you trying to say,

When you're babbbling excuses?

Do you really think it makes it ok?

Sometimes you have to draw a line..

Where nobody else is willing to.
Draw a Line and it will be worth it. It will be worth it all.

No Definition

The title of this blog is No Definition for a reason.
A title defines what you are about to read.
And what you are reading here is the lack of definition and clarity in my mind and spirit.
I know I desire God... and I know I have changed my course so many times.
And I am so scared of living life wrong- and I know that living scared is wrong.
But where is the passion? Where is the purpose? Where is MY dream?
I'm sick of knowing that I "enjoy" such a great variety...
I want to get back to doing what God planted in me.
To stay where I am is a sacrifice and to go is the same.
I wish I could reverse life so I could be little again, just to escape.
But the truth is that I would end up right back here.
I don't want to just be happy, I want to make a difference.

I was at youth tonight,
and I had been desperate to get there because I needed to meet with God.
I know a youth staff should be there for the students but...
I wanted to worship, and to seek his face in prayer.
I got there late and missed the beginning of the service.

I will still meet with God tonight but I am yearning for him to prove himself once again.

Why do I feel so old?

I am being completely honest and please don't hold it against me.

I feel so alone. Where are the people I call friends?
Who will let me cry on their shoulder? Who will pray with me?
I know God is sufficient...

I don't mean to sound long suffering but I need to vent.

This past week I've been stressed.
I'm trying so hard to take things in stride.
On top of that I've been a little sick, so I'm off kilter.
One more reason why these ramblings are crazy.
My mind is in a million directions, or you could say no direction

I'm going to go give it to God now... now that I've had my say.
Perhaps I can let him have his too.

I need definition, I need hope, I need something to look foward to.

I need to stop worrying.

I need God.

Memory - Isaiah 61 : 1 - 4

I am beginning to read the book "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore.

The first chapter calls for me to use Isaish 61 : 1 - 4 as a memory scripture.

Hold me accountable and memorize with me!

Thanks :)

ISAIAH 61 : 1 - 4

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion -

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of his splendor.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins

and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

that have been devastated for generastions.