Call Me Maybe

There is so much out there right now telling us what a relationsihp should look like... and today I had a friend ask me about what a good relationship really should be. Well... I wasn't planning on writing as much as I did. But in the end I thought I would share my thoughts.

Oh and please keep in mind... this is in my internet chat speak, and I didn't really take the time to clean it up much so... Here Goes!

So... To the Curious Single Person Who Wants to Know What I Have to Say:

And I Quote:

well.... i am not sure if you mean what makes it a "godly relationship" or i fyou mean what makes it a "god ordained relatinoship", because those are two different things

the second suggests that god planned 2 people specifically for each other and orchestrated their lives in such a way that they were brought together by what might appear to be fate

the first, which is what i am assuming you might have meant, simply requests what takes a relationship to the next level, beyond the friendship/lover characteristics

and in this case, the answer is simple, God, being the center of both lives, becomes the center of that relationship

Now granted this obviously needs to be explained, because the center of a relationship? what does that even mean

ok, so there are two analogies, (and i apologize if im breaking this down too much, im not trying to insult your intelligence, i just felt the need to start with the basics) the first analogy is two people standing on opposite sides of a circle, and they are both looking in

this is to take the center of the relationship more literally, to see or get to the other person, they must look "through" God, they must first find God before they can find each other

the second analogy is similar, consider a 3 cord braided rope

the first cord being man, the second being woman, and the third being God, he is intricately involved with each, never leaves either's side, and is also constantly holding the other two together, two cords twisted together simply unwind, but the third cord creates a bond that cannot be easily broken

ok, so now set the analogies aside, we get the conepts, but what does thsi look like day to day? there can be so many examples

but here is a list of some of my first thoughts

I. Praying together
II. Encouraging each other
III. Supporting each other
IV. Providing for each other

V. Acting out of grace and forgiveness instead of hurt

VI. Sharing with each other what God has revealed to each
VII. Trust
VIII. Respect

Some of these things don't sound super spiritual, and honestly the list could go on and on, but that's the point, if we act out of love, the kind of unconditional love that was first offered to us by Christ, then we are emulating Christ in our relationship.

It doesn't always mean carrying your bible together and "oops" we forgot to pray for the meal!" it means, live in love as God has loved

When we act out of greed, pain, pride, arrogance, selfishness, judgements, or anyother sinful cause, then we act against God, and against our spouse who has become a part of us

I will say that a little differently

When we sin against God, we commit a travesty against our selves, and now since two have become one, even if our spouse does not know our sin, we have still sinned against them

A godly relationship, forgives, repents, and moves forward, accepts consequences, and simply loves unconditionally

End Quote

And a few things on the practical side:

Start 2nd Quote:

well i think what i sent before what the important stuff

after that everything is secondary

but it helps to have like mindedness in how you interpret and live the bible

to enjoy some of the same hobbies

but give each other room to be yourself

you dont have to do everything together

you dont have to like everything the same

you do not have to wear matching shirts... if you get my drift :-D

but... your priorities should be discussed, and agreed upon

make each other laugh

offer a hug when you know words arent going to be enough

play a game just to spend time together

go for a walk

have friends and family over

dont be afraid of the deeper issues

sooner or later, if you dont master them, they will consume you

dont be desparate, for a new relationship, it is better to give each other an honest chance

and an honest chance does not mean assuming the other person is the one, it means taking the time to find out who they are

where do they come from

how did they become this person

where are they going?

what makes them passionate and what are their dreams

how do they handle money?

how do they handle kids?

how do they handle it when you get into a fight?

do they take the time to tell you something sweet just because they knwo it will make you smile?

are they willing to sacrifice? are they willing to comprimise?

i mean, this is a list that goes forever

honesty is so important

it takes a long time to fall in lvoe with someone

and when that happends

you spend the rest of your life discovering everything else you didnt already know

everythign that amazes you, surprises you, and even hurts you

we make alot of assumptions about people

especially when we think they are what we want

then we suddenly assume they have it all

thats not fair

relationships take tine

they take effort

they take endurance and patience

you have to be consistent

dont waffle

in love one day and out the next

your love is not based on today

it is based on forever

so... i guess htats it

now whree is my knight on a white horse?

End Quote

Ok, That's all folks.. just wanted to share :-D